Today is a sad day for me. 16 years ago today I lost my husband to a car accident. January 11, 1996
I was a housewife / college student with two children. My daughter just turned 3 the month before and my son was 21 months old. We didn't have any life insurance. So my first thought as I was in panic and shock from the news was "What am I going to do? I have two children, no job, no life insurance, and I was still in school." We lived in Georgia at the time and I had no idea about funeral homes or what to do when someone dies. It was my last quarter of college so my only choice was to finish. I graduated in April of that year with a degree in Psychology. Any of the jobs that I was wanting to do required me to be on call which was impossible for someone with two small children. In June of that year I moved back to my home town where my mother lived. She has since moved to the Gulf Coast. I can honestly say that without my faith in God I would never have made it. He has always taken care of me and provided for me in ways that I will be forever grateful.
I can't help wonder how life would have been had that not happened. Having to go to family events at school functions or church sitting alone with my kids when all the other kids are sitting with a mom and dad. I have had to watch my children grow up without a father and I think that is one of the things that hurts the most. When my daughter was little she would say she wished she had a Dad who could pick her up from school. My son didn't have a father to coach his little league teams or teach him how to do all the things little boys need their father for. I've watched them grow up missing out on so many things that so many families take for granted. I have done my best to be both a mother and a father to both of them and give them everything I possibly could without spoiling them. To try to teach them how to do things for themselves in case something were to happen to me because I am all they have. I am thankful that they have a heavenly father who loves them and has taken care of all of us.
It has been 16 years and I have never remarried. Not because Im against it but because I haven't found the one who is the one Im destined to grow old with. I loved my husband and we had a good marriage. It was not without our share of problems like anyone else but we were committed to overcome them and work them out I don't believe in divorce. I don't judge others for choosing divorce because I have not walked in their shoes. I just hope that is something that I never have to go through. I believe that God is a healer and a restorer. I also believe there is nothing that God can not do. I remember when I got married the preacher told me that if we said to each other "If this doesn't work out we can just get a divorce" well we have just taken our first step towards it. I don't want to accept anything less than Gods plan for my life. I have had several long term relationships since then and they have all helped me grow as a person. They have all contributed to the person I have become now. I admit there was a time when I believed I had found the perfect person to spend the rest of my life with just to have my heart broken because I put my faith in another person instead of the God who made them. I have learned many life lessons these past 16 years. Some from my own mistakes and some from the mistakes that others have made and Im sill learning every day.
2012 Im focusing on making me a better me so that I am able to be their for the people in my life who need me. I live in a small town where just about everyone is related. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Parents, Grandparents and we are related to no one but each other. The closest relative over two hours away. So my friends have become my family they laugh with me, cry with me and help me through each day. I hope that I am able to be as much of a blessing to them as they have been to me.
So I end this in saying "Live, Laugh and Love" because you never know when those you hold dear will be taken from you. Enjoy each precious moment you have and live each day as if it were your last because it very well could be. The older I get every day more and more people are diagnosed with cancer, having heart attacks, aneurysms, car accidents, suicides. Life is so short .....Live each day on Purpose!! Do something to let the people who are important to you know you care and appreciate them you just might not get another chance.
Forgive Others, Love Your Neighbor, Praise the Lord for each and every blessing!!!
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